Instrumental Rationality

Absolutely fabulous story published on the Fictive Dream website I subscribe to, and have had a story there myself. Instrumental Rationality is the best story I’ve read by a country mile, on this site, or pretty much anywhere for a while. It tackles the themes of memory and sexual abuse with such a subtlety of touch… blew my mind.

Fictive Dream

by Gitanjali Kolanad

Getting old means I no longer inhabit my own memories. I watch them, not from the inside looking out, but from the outside looking in. I can’t tell you exactly when I moved out of my former self, but I can give you an example.

A woman of indeterminate middle age is staring out the long window of a seminar room on the second floor of the Northrop Frye Building. A lecture organized by the Semiotic Circle is about to begin, called ‘Instrumental Rationality – Game Theory Applied to Social Interactions.’ I can see what she sees – the bare branches of trees against the stone of the old Victoria College building behind, and in the distance, skyscrapers and low gray clouds, but I can also see her, black hair turning gray, brown skin almost purple under the eyes. I don’t like the way she dresses –…

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